Final Solution for South Ridge Triple Chairlift – Just Kill The Customers

Killington Realizes That Humans Are The Problem

After 42 reported back injuries and 2 decapitation deaths last year; Chris Cyborg has committed to stop injuries occurring on the South Face triple chairlift. He has decided to rename it the ‘South Face 3 Person” lift. When asked about actual safety changes, Chris said the name change was the only thing planned right now.

Skiers have also complained about the early closing of the South Ridge triple at 3pm, Chris Cyborg has confirmed that he has taken steps to have the closing time changed to 15:00 instead, when asked if that is actually the same time, but in the 24 Hr. clock form, Chris replied “Not in my book, bro”

Demolition With Hacksaw

It later transpired that Chris had actually planned on cutting the South Face Triple chairlift down with Forrest Dump’s hacksaw, right after the press conference and then selling the metal for scrap, which is exactly what he ended up doing.

The 108 chairs from this chairlift are available for sale behind Mr Cyborg’s garage in Pittsfield VT and are available to purchase in bitcoin only. Chris’s Bitcoin Wallet ID is: bc1qxy2kgdygjrsqtzq2n0yrf2493